Two Weeks

 Two weeks later.

Two weeks since I began to worry that I was losing this baby too. Two weeks ago, I went to bed with some hope. But I would wake up with that hope replaced by fear, massive blood loss and nothing to show for it.
It’s two weeks later. And my point is, my body is still healing. I did my hair last night. Thought I would change it up and let it be curly. I was excited to go back to church and see my people. But I woke up in the middle of the night with a terrible migraine. I had to stay home. Probably due to hormones sorting themselves out. Because it’s been two weeks after all.
Two weeks is forever to wait for your first paycheck. It’s forever when you get to see your best friend after years apart, or when you’re counting down to a big adventure. It’s forever when you are waiting on two pink lines…
But two weeks is barely anything when your body is healing or when your heart is grieving. As it turns out, it’s not much when you are rebuilding red blood cells either! It’s so easy to look at someone and see how “well” they are doing two weeks later.
But pregnancy loss isn’t just two weeks. It’s not just that follow up appointment and being cleared to resume life as normal. It still hurts and confuses. Sometimes, it still causes physical symptoms.
Two weeks after the trauma of not only losing a baby, but hemorrhaging heavily, and I am days away from when I should be welcoming Nate. He was due the 28th. It’s been two weeks.
I’m doing ok. Really. I’m healing well. I’m getting stronger. I’m teaching my kids and cleaning my house. But it’s only two weeks into my new normal. I’m ok, but I still need time.
It’s only been two weeks.



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